Tuesday, September 22

Please, Major Lazer! Don't Hurt Us!

Artist: Major Lazer
Album: Guns Don't Kill People, Lazers Do

Just take a look at that album cover and try to tell me you don't want this record.

Jesus Christ, when is the last time someone made a dance record like this one? For all the scatting and beeboping those lousy skinny jean wearing fucks down in Brooklyn have been doing for the past few years, no one has taken as many chances or made as crazy-assed a dance record as Diplo and Switch have with Guns Don't Kill People...Lazers Do. Sure, they're pretty much just watering down Jamaican-style Dance Hall music, but that shit NEEDS watering down! And, not for nothing, filling the album with actual Jamaican artists instead of a dickload of American stars is...well...mad decent.

I know you want to dance, you motherfuckers. I can see it in your eyes. The music just isn't moving you, I get it. If that's the case, get your sweaty meathooks on this album. It is all at once like no other dance music you've ever heard and instantly like every other club track in the world. It is the Alpha and Omega. It is ubiquity realized in the form of Avalanches-like sound manipulation and Beanie Man-style island thump. And if those references don't make sense to you, then it sounds like Santigold if Santigold took a bunch of speed and knew a goddamn thing about production.

Don't resist Major Lazer. The sooner you bow to your new vampire fighting, bazooka-armed, jet-powered surf board riding master of rhythm, the better.

Also, I can't embed it here, but check out this video for Pon De Floor' (NSFW on account of dry humping. See, you want this album, don't you?).

Key Tracks:
Hold The Line, Lazer Theme, Pon De Floor', Baby

Buy, Skip, Steal:

Major Lazer - When You Hear The Bassline (Ft. Miss Thing)